Growing Desires and Uncontrollable life

‘Baby Ella was born on July 17, 2008. Four days earlier I had been admitted to the hospital as I spontaneously dilated and Ella's water sac had begun descending into the canal at just 21 weeks gestation. I was told by many to just "get it over with" and begin induction as Ella would not likely live. However, my wonderful husband and I would not choose certain death when I had the option to lie in the hospital in the trendelinberg position to ease the water sac back through the cervix. After 48 hours of doing so, there was no change in my condition. Ella was still exposed to infection as was myself, but we were not about to give up. Two more days went by and we hung onto the hope that something would change. However, the only thing that did was that Ella and I now had an infection and there was no way to turn back the clock for her. My wonderful doctor (who was the only medical professional who refused to give up on us) delivered the news on that Thursday around12:40pm. It was no longer my duty to try to save Ella...if we wanted to see her alive, we would have to deliver her as soon as possible. With my family beside me, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who was perfect in every way. My husband and I baptized her immediately and we witnessed her tiny body move and her delicate hand grasp the ring that her daddy tried to place on her fingers...she was so strong. And Ella began to suck on my finger as I brushed it against her tiny cheek. It was a beautiful experience that we enjoyed for 20 minutes until it was time for God to take her home....what a gift we had. Mommy and Daddy love you, Ella Rose! Xoxoxoxoxo’

This was from a random source, but reading it made me realize so much. It was like everything I needed at that time, a little actualization and a little bang on the head to move on and move ahead. I soon understood why I wasn’t happy, simply because I wished for a little too much. Normally you look at other people and wonder if you could be like them and live as wonderfully as their life seems to but ever realized and thanked for what we got? How we keep asking for more while people in some side of the world find happiness in what we call almost nothing, but for them it’s all they can ever wish for! Say Alhumdulillah for all what you have. Only if u imagine all of it going away you'll know the worth of every ounce in your life...

It’s sad that we get what we don’t deserve and we’re still not proud of it, in fact it bothers us that others have a lot more and then we wonder why they do when we don’t, and heres when we start judging without knowing enough.

Complaining is our thing, it’s like what we do most of the time… human nature or whatever u may call, gimme one person who never complains and ill stop writing! Well I bet if u can find a person even for a single day! We don’t accept the fact that we take our lives for granted, we hardly are thankful for what we’ve got while some out there dream a life like you have, it’s a fantasy for them. Growing up with luxuries all around u, updating you’re lives as the world technologizes.

Facts aren’t just a man’s thought, they are practiced or observed and are mostly right. Though I haven’t experimented much with what people think but during my 6 years of teen-age life, I’ve observed all of us are pretty much the same.. well yes the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are in different quantities and different ways but humans in this world live in the shade of greys, no matter how hard you try … u can never mark them on a chart with a  black or white area, we’re not angels and so we can’t stay calm in the worst of situations and obviously we’re not devils either so we care and love at some point during our life… we’re not made of stones neither of tissue so stop judging us by our reactions in various condition. The one thing that is unique, the one thing that is not only physically but technically and emotionally even scientifically your very own belonging and will be a possession that would  be yours till the end of your time, not like a kidney that u can spare neither like a leg that u can live without.. But something that no one in this world can take or ask for till the very end… ask from that heart , do u know oneself ? We hide our little dirty secrets behind the curtains in our brain, we wana think we’re all goody good package sent from the heavens and meanwhile we actually forget the hidden part...but then do we become all the good stuff in the goody bag?

Life isn’t a puzzle that can be solved, neither a race that can be won. Life isn’t some ribbon that can be untangled, it is but just a life…Something that’s very much ours yet the only thing that we can’t ever get, We can’t control life, it controls us! But we sure can limit our desires to get the most out of it...