Me with myself all over again.

I know I’ve got my words to play with when everything and everybody else have turned their back on me. And how glad I am that I can at least talk to myself about it, I wish I learned it before.

Of all the things I’ve ever wished for, this one was never a part of the list. every time the thought hit my mind, I used to divert myself and not think if there could be almost, maybe, possibly, probably even the slightest of chance of the thought being right, but how was I supposed to know that all the unexpected is reality. Back then I wasn’t aware of the fact that the scary stuff beyond your worst nightmares could actually be a part of your miserable life someday, and looking at my life filled with all the reality that’s worse than a nightmare, a life I never could’ve possibly projected or anticipated...Well I probably shouldn’t go on, we all eventually learn how life is irrepressible, insurmountable, disobedient, disorderly and so on and so forth... But yes even all grown up and having problems other than school life and exam questions, I never thought it could happen.

Of all the things in life, the one part that has been like a curse was the moment of confession. Where it all started, and how happy I was in that particular moment of time, I’ve regretted it more than anything lately, I’ve been in a state of denial for as long as I can remember. Should I blame myself and let go all I have or wait until life resolves self created hurdles.