Time passes by so fast and by the time you realize the significance of those few cherished moments they're gone!
So much have changed, literally so much! I’m not the first one who has come all way to Pakistan leaving my family and friends behind, but yea m the only one who knows how much it’s hurting me right now. True that life has got a lot for you, a lot better sometimes and as time passes you learn to cop up with hard times, true that this is the phase where I’ll discover my dreams and try to turn them into reality, true that now I have the chance to figure myself out, it is when I can concentrate on myself more than I did ever. However the price I had to pay for all this worth much more and by the way all this is said only for self satisfaction.
So much have changed, literally so much! I’m not the first one who has come all way to Pakistan leaving my family and friends behind, but yea m the only one who knows how much it’s hurting me right now. True that life has got a lot for you, a lot better sometimes and as time passes you learn to cop up with hard times, true that this is the phase where I’ll discover my dreams and try to turn them into reality, true that now I have the chance to figure myself out, it is when I can concentrate on myself more than I did ever. However the price I had to pay for all this worth much more and by the way all this is said only for self satisfaction.
After the school life like I had, sovereign life sounded exciting but at the same time I knew I would’ve been happier if my family and friends were around and when I think this way I so want to quit! I can, in fact I am ready to give up this wonderful self-regulating life though I haven’t lived it completely and thoughts of which scares the hell out of me. I just want a one-way to the Middle East and fly from the Lahore airport for the last time. And when they say I’m a selfish immature brat then how come you let me stay here?!
I can’t, especially when I know there’s a place I can go and it’s better, when I know I’ll be happier then why do I have to stay!
I can’t, especially when I know there’s a place I can go and it’s better, when I know I’ll be happier then why do I have to stay!
Cumin here was my own decision, my very own decision and until today I was happy and excited about this new place, the new life but the bad parts conquer the good ones and in the end I’m sad, like always I want to press the undo button, no actually the rewind button and go back to those amazingly wonderful times. I want to go back to those fascinating days when every second of life was worth living, I want to tell everyone how I felt about them and I want them to know what they really were to me, and I want them to feel how much I love them and how much I care and then I’ll cum back to this place with no regrets at all, now I know I won’t get what m asking for. I’m not unthankful in fact I secretly believe that I’m blessed with a perfect life. I know being proud is not good but I was, I am! What else can a person ask for? , I had the best one can ever get at a time. The perfect friends, the incredibly supportive parents, the charmingly adorable siblings, the happy moments, the sad times, the politics, the fights, the love, the hugs…everything.
One won’t ever understand unless feels it oneself. I knew it already, we all did, in fact we wanted this, dint we? But despite being aware we were not ready and no matter how long u wait us to be, It’ll take like forever and we still won’t be. I thought I was strong, I thought it wouldn’t be as hard and scary as it seems, well yea it’s not, its worse!! Freaky freaky...what’s going to happen next.
So far all’s well people here are great, so welcoming, the life here is better, more enjoyable, more fun but at the same time...lonely. Well Pakistan may have better people to talk to or cooler places to visit, it doesn’t attract me anymore. I used to get pleasure from those boring dull places with the same ugly faces every time and I loved it seriously. I’m not depressed, I don’t have a reason to be, but yup, if I could make a choice right now it’ll be moving back.
So far all’s well people here are great, so welcoming, the life here is better, more enjoyable, more fun but at the same time...lonely. Well Pakistan may have better people to talk to or cooler places to visit, it doesn’t attract me anymore. I used to get pleasure from those boring dull places with the same ugly faces every time and I loved it seriously. I’m not depressed, I don’t have a reason to be, but yup, if I could make a choice right now it’ll be moving back.
My messy room and the old fashioned furniture, my crazy friends and their lame conversations, my car that lodged 9 and still drove smoothly, the clean roads, the late night hanging outs, the family politics, the boring weekends, the parks, the barbeques, the visits and sleepovers at the farm house. It’s funny how much I’m missing it when all I ever wanted was to escape.
I’m missing a place where there are no cinemas, tons of restrictions and where girls can’t drive, a place where I’ve spent more than 10 years of my life, a place where hundreds make u smile, a place that is unique, the only place where my hearts want to be, I’m missing old days, I miss it so much.
Thinking about how I’m going to live here totally freaks me out. I’ve got only a few more days to live my life the same way and den everything will change...
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